Iron Circus Pitch: “Down the Hole”

This week, I am sharing one of the three pitches I sent to Iron Circus for their New World Anthology. As you might already know, I got rejected (one single tear is going down my white cheek right now). I decided to share the “Down the Hole” story because it is a strange story. It was the second story I came up with for their theme of having to deal with the alien. Here it is:

On planet SERRA, a team is sent to investigate a mysterious crash. ROGER, a square-chinned and misogynistic adventurer leads the way. He is followed by scientist CAROLYN, and their pack-mule alien servant MILLARD. MILLARD is made to set up the gear so that they can rappel down the hole where the crash happened. (PAGE 1).

Ways down the hole, they spot a side tunnel and start going through it. MILLARD is exhausted because he is made to carry all the gear and he accidentally drops some on the ground, including ROGER’s expensive bottles of scotch. ROGER goes to whip him as punishment but CAROLYN stops him. ROGER punches CAROLYN in the face for intervening. MILLARD helps her up and apologizes when menacing shadows appear on the walls down the tunnel. ROGER points his laser gun in the shadows direction. (PAGES 2 and 3).

The shadows are revealed to be aliens who look just like MILLARD. They speak a language only he can understand. They reveal that he is one of them. Years ago, they sent a reconnaissance ship looking for a new habitable planet and found planet SERRA. Unfortunately, it seems like the inhabitants of SERRA chose to enslave his race. MILLARD and his people are descendants from that reconnaissance ship. The aliens lead the crew down the tunnel and to the bottom of the hole where their spaceship crashed. While repairing their ship, they created a beautiful makeshift village and are cultivating plants. CAROLYN is fascinated by their culture and science. ROGER is suspicious. He orders everyone to go back up the tunnel and wait right by the edge of the hole. He is going to make an important announcement in the name of planet SERRA. (PAGES 4 and 5).

With all the aliens gathered by the edge of the hole, ROGER announces that they are in violation of his proud galaxy’s immigration laws. He then produces a huge laser gun and starts zapping the aliens. They back up into the hole to avoid being zapped and some fall to certain death. CAROLYN goes to stop him and he zaps her too. MILLARD attacks him from behind, lifts ROGER above his head, and throws him into the hole. (PAGES 6 and 7).

ROGER is still hanging to a small ledge inside the hole, begging MILLARD for help. MILLARD uses the huge laser gun on ROGER. ROGER’s remains falls down the hole. As the aliens go back to repairing their ship, MILLARD advises them to hurry and leave this wretched planet. Holding the laser gun, MILLARD vows to keep guard at the entrance of the tunnel until his people are safely gone. (PAGE 8).

Feedback welcome,


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